In recent years, the concept of “sleep divorce” has gained popularity among couples, even those in high-profile relationships. Sleep divorce is the practice of couples choosing to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms, either occasionally or permanently, in order to improve their sleep quality or maintain the health of their relationship. While some couples swear by it, others view it as a sign of a disconnect. Here are 11 famous couples who opted for sleep divorce, showing that it can be a solution that works for some.
1. Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk: Keeping Romance Fresh
Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk initially chose to sleep separately at their respective homes early in their relationship. This decision helped both families transition smoothly into their blended lives while keeping their romance intact. Paltrow has spoken about how their arrangement allowed their relationship to stay fresh, with each having their own space to recharge.
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At the time, Paltrow lived with her children, while Falchuk maintained his own home. This living arrangement made it easier for their families to adjust, as they spent part of the week together and the other part apart. As they built their life together, Paltrow expressed that her married friends often praised the arrangement, suggesting that it was a healthy approach to maintaining their relationship. Their decision proves that maintaining a bit of physical distance can sometimes enhance the emotional connection in a relationship.
2. Cameron Diaz & Benji Madden: Advocating for Separate Spaces
Cameron Diaz has been very vocal about her support for sleep divorces. While she hasn’t explicitly confirmed her living arrangement with her husband, Benji Madden, Diaz believes in the importance of having separate sleeping spaces. In a discussion on the Lipstick on the Rim podcast, she said that an ideal setup for her would involve completely separate houses for herself and Madden, with a central family house for shared moments.
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Diaz advocates for normalizing separate bedrooms, explaining that having separate spaces doesn’t diminish intimacy. On the contrary, it provides both partners with the personal space needed to unwind and recharge. She envisions a life where both individuals have their own bedrooms but can always come together when needed. This type of arrangement, according to Diaz, can be an ideal balance of independence and togetherness.
3. Carson Daly & Siri Pinter: Embracing Sleep Apnea and Pregnancy
Carson Daly and Siri Pinter’s decision to start sleeping separately in 2019 was largely due to Pinter’s pregnancy with their fourth child and Daly’s struggles with sleep apnea. The couple realized that their sleeping arrangements were no longer conducive to rest, especially during Pinter’s third trimester when she found it difficult to get comfortable. Daly’s sleep apnea also made it challenging for them to sleep together, so they decided to try sleeping in separate beds.
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Although Pinter had the baby, the couple found that sleeping separately continued to benefit their relationship. Daly explained that their new arrangement, which included separate beds on some nights, has kept their marriage strong. Both partners acknowledged that their sleep divorce was a solution that improved their quality of rest, which in turn helped them stay refreshed and emotionally connected. It’s a testament to the idea that sometimes, sleeping apart can strengthen a relationship rather than weaken it.
4. Helena Bonham Carter & Tim Burton: Separate Homes, Separate Lives
Before their split in 2013, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton made a unique choice to live in separate homes on the same property. Bonham Carter revealed that the primary reason for their decision was Burton’s loud snoring, which made it impossible for her to sleep well. They purchased two homes in London and connected them, allowing each partner to have their own personal space while still being close enough to see each other regularly.
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This arrangement worked for the couple because it offered them the personal space necessary to maintain their individuality. They weren’t forced into constant proximity, which could have led to tension or irritability. Bonham Carter emphasized that their separate homes were not about avoiding each other but rather about choosing how much togetherness they wanted. Their ability to maintain closeness while respecting each other’s space was key to their relationship.
5. Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott: The Role of Television in Sleep Divorce
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott spent several years sleeping in separate rooms, even during their marriage. While McDermott claimed that a pet pig played a role in their decision, Spelling has since explained that the real cause was her habit of watching TV as a form of escapism. She would often zone out in front of the TV to distract herself from the stresses of her daily life, which made sleeping together difficult.
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Spelling explained that, in retrospect, her need for distraction was a form of emotional self-care. Watching TV became her way of coping with difficult days, and this often kept her up late, making it challenging for her and McDermott to share a bed. Their sleep divorce wasn’t caused by a lack of love but by different needs and routines. Spelling’s admission highlights how sometimes personal habits and needs can lead to practical solutions like sleep divorces that allow individuals to maintain their well-being.
6. Barbara Corcoran & Bill Higgins: Four Decades of Separate Bedrooms
Barbara Corcoran and her husband, Bill Higgins, have enjoyed separate bedrooms for over 40 years. According to Corcoran, their sleep divorce has kept their relationship exciting and adds a layer of mystery. She shared in an interview on the Today show that having separate bedrooms has helped them keep the spark alive, as it gives each of them the opportunity to retreat to their own space when needed.
Corcoran’s neatness and Higgins’s tendency to clutter their shared space played a role in their decision to sleep separately. She explained that her need for an orderly environment and his messiness made it difficult for her to sleep well. By having separate rooms, both partners were able to enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep while also preserving the romance in their relationship. This long-standing arrangement is proof that couples can maintain a successful relationship with personal space.
7. Bette Midler & Martin von Haselberg: Separate Rooms, Strong Marriage
Bette Midler and Martin von Haselberg have also been advocates of sleep divorces, having slept in separate bedrooms for over 40 years. Midler has said that her husband’s loud snoring was a major factor in their decision to sleep apart. However, she also emphasized that their separate sleeping arrangements were crucial to their successful marriage. Midler believes that having separate spaces helps both partners maintain their independence and ensures that they appreciate each other more when they do spend time together.
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Midler’s approach to sleep divorce highlights the idea that personal space can contribute to marital happiness. While some may view it as a sign of emotional distance, for Midler and von Haselberg, it has been a strategy that allowed them to enjoy their relationship without feeling suffocated. They have found that their marriage thrives with the balance of independence and togetherness, proving that separate sleeping arrangements can work for some couples.
8. Victoria & David Beckham: Separate Wings in Their Home
Victoria and David Beckham have long been rumored to sleep in different parts of their sprawling English countryside estate. The couple’s home reportedly features “his and hers” wings, where each partner can retreat to their own space when needed. This setup allows them to maintain their individual lives while still enjoying quality time together when it suits them.
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Their decision to have separate wings is seen as a way to give each other space without compromising their relationship. In a high-profile marriage like theirs, with constant public attention and professional commitments, the ability to have personal time is essential. The Beckhams have made it clear that their arrangement works for them, offering a healthy balance of independence and shared moments that contribute to their long-lasting bond.
9. Donald & Melania Trump: Separate Quarters in the White House
While the specifics of Donald and Melania Trump’s relationship are often subject to public scrutiny, there have been numerous reports suggesting that the couple slept in separate quarters during their time in the White House. Biographers have claimed that the couple’s relationship was marked by physical distance, with separate living spaces that allowed each partner to focus on their own activities and responsibilities.
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Mary Jordan, the author of The Art of Her Deal, has noted that the couple’s arrangement was not unusual given their busy schedules and high-pressure lives. While some critics might view the separation as a sign of marital issues, others argue that it’s simply a practical solution for two people with demanding careers. Their decision to sleep apart reflects a growing trend among busy couples who value personal space and restful sleep.
10. Gillian Anderson & Peter Morgan: Space as a Relationship Saver
Gillian Anderson and Peter Morgan’s relationship has been anything but conventional. After dating for several years, the couple split in 2020 but later rekindled their romance. Anderson has spoken about how important it is for them to maintain separate living spaces. She believes that if they lived together, it could jeopardize their relationship, as having space allows them to preserve the excitement and specialness of their time together.
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Anderson’s perspective on living separately highlights a unique approach to modern relationships. She believes that the distance between her and Morgan allows them to maintain a healthy sense of individuality, which enhances their connection when they do come together. Their arrangement serves as an example of how emotional space can contribute to a stronger bond.
11. Baz Luhrmann & Catherine Martin: The Need for Space
Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin, the acclaimed filmmaker and production designer duo, have been living in separate spaces for quite some time. They have separate floors in their homes in New York and Sydney, which allows them to have time apart when needed. Luhrmann explained that both of them are surrounded by large teams and constant work, and they realized they needed personal space to preserve their relationship and mental health.
(L-R) Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
This arrangement works for them because it provides the necessary time and space to decompress from the demands of their careers. Luhrmann noted that being constantly around each other would sometimes lead to unthoughtful comments or tension, so having separate spaces allowed them to avoid these issues. Their decision to sleep apart shows that sometimes emotional and physical space can be the key to a healthy and thriving relationship.
The Benefits of Sleep Divorce
The rise of sleep divorce among famous couples proves that it’s not only practical but can also be beneficial to relationships. Whether due to sleep issues, personal preferences, or the need for space, many couples have found that sleeping separately improves their quality of life and helps them stay connected. As the concept gains traction, it’s clear that each couple’s arrangement is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to marital happiness. What matters most is that both partners feel comfortable and respected in their relationship, whether they share a bed or not.
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